I tend to think of myself as a country girl despite the fact that I’ve lived in the ‘burbs much longer than I lived in the country. I still think of myself as a country girl even though I often think about what it would be like to live in the city. It would be exciting! I would love to be able to walk to the store or coffee shop instead of getting in my car and driving. It sounds so fun and interesting.
Yet, here I am. Still in the ‘burbs.
It is like some sort of self-forced purgatory. It isn’t the city, for sure. I can’t walk anywhere, really, except my favorite Mexican place, but then it is hard to walk the 1 ½ miles back after stuffing myself with all that yummy goodness that is horrible for me.
It certainly isn’t the country. I can’t walk everywhere without others around. The only animals in site are the dogs that bark at me as I run past them. They will run with me the length of their fence, but then I leave them behind.
Though I think of myself as a country girl, I wonder if I would truly be happy back in that environment. As much as I love the endless grass and trees, seeing cows and chickens at every turn, and sunning myself in the grass without fear of someone nearby, it also seems impossible to be happy somewhere so far away from the city. A source of art and culture that I cannot live without.
I think about the excitement of the city and the ease of being a part of a community, but I cannot help but think that the yearning for vast green spaces would be too overwhelming to enjoy all the city has to offer.
So, in the ‘burbs I stay. As much as I love both the city and the country, I am not so fond of the suburbs. Some may see it as the perfect blend between city and country. I can even say I thought the same when I first arrived. I’m not far from either, but still too far away from both. How does one live in the city and not pine for the country or in the country and not crave the city? How can I do it?
I’m sure I am overthinking it. I should just pick one and visit the other. Seems like a simple solution, right? But how do I pick which one to live in? They say if you toss a coin in the air you always know which side you want it to land. I’ve even written a blog post about how there are really no hard decisions. Still, this seems impossible.
I know. I will just sell everything and sail around the world. Problem solved!